I just want to put some thoughts down before I go to bed.
Lately it seems like I've been so weak. I fall to my simplest of whims rather than sticking to my strength and overcoming my immediate gratification. I feel like instead of taking steps forward everyday, I take twice as many steps backwards. I'm falling into some old habits I was sure I had conquered long ago. Am I really that pathetic and desperate that I can't or won't hang on just a little bit longer?
Why am I not taking the steps that I need to, to be who I want to be? I just feel like I'm constantly on self-destruct mode. When will I finally start living?
Anyway, enough about me. Maybe some service would do some good...
Being good is like losing weight. IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! And every person I've ever heard talk about weight loss says that it's not something you lose, and you're done. It's not an event, it's a lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteBeing good is the same way. It's not something you can finish in one event--it has to permeate your life slowly and become a habit.
But remember too--everyone is good in a different way. Don't worry about EVERYTHING. When my sister had her first child, she worked on not swearing--but she didn't worry about watching R rated movies. People can't change all at once, and we all slip up. Just change something small, something manageable, just a bit at a time.
Personally, I self-destruct more when I'm alone. That's why I like reading so much--then I'm not ALONE, I'm occupied, and much more thoroughly than a movie. Just an idea.
I love you!
Sorina, you are amazing! Thank you so much! you help me more than you realize.
ReplyDeleteSad day! I would never consider being good something that takes constant effort like losing weight. Compassion is only compassion if it's spontanious, otherwise it's some weak forced compassion to help make yourself feel good about yourself when you should be feeling good about yourself anyway just because you are Brittney Balmforth.
ReplyDeleteInquire to why you aren't being who you want to be. Maybe you can releive youself of whatever is causing the tension or maybe what you want to be isn't as good as you thought.
Don't live life as a constant struggle. Those kinds of people end up dying a early death. Be free, be happy :). Be yourself without expectations. That's the only way to know who you truely are.