I've had a new concept introduced to me today: being true to one's self. You may think that this shouldn't be a new concept, and it isn't. The way I view it is new.

All around me the world has been telling me in shouts and whispers that being true to myself is going where every my personal whims take me. "That's just who I am so I can't change" has been a popular phrase. If I want it then go for it because self-gratification is what being true to yourself is.

They're wrong. Everyone who thinks like that is wrong. Being true to myself is being true to what I know is right...it's being true to what will make me the happiest in the long run even in the face of immediate gratification. Yes, something may bring me pleasure in the moment, but in the long run it isn't gong to get me where I want to be. And getting to where I want to be at all costs is being true to myself. Being true to myself is sacrificing something good for something greater. It's about putting off the immediate and self-gratification for something that will make you happier down the road. It's learning patience. It's applying what you know to your life.

So, wish me luck. I'm striving now to be true to myself, and I'm going to need all the prayers that I can get. I often feel weak, but I know that with Heaven's help and everyone's prayers, I will be able to do it. I will be who I want to be...and no one can stop me except myself.

I just want to put some thoughts down before I go to bed.

Lately it seems like I've been so weak. I fall to my simplest of whims rather than sticking to my strength and overcoming my immediate gratification. I feel like instead of taking steps forward everyday, I take twice as many steps backwards. I'm falling into some old habits I was sure I had conquered long ago. Am I really that pathetic and desperate that I can't or won't hang on just a little bit longer?

Why am I not taking the steps that I need to, to be who I want to be? I just feel like I'm constantly on self-destruct mode. When will I finally start living?

Anyway, enough about me. Maybe some service would do some good...