Sometimes you come to visit me in my dreams. Most of the time it's when I'm at some emotional crisis or when I'm really stressed. Sometimes you're with me again and we're happy and in love. Most often though I dream of you holding me. You were my only source of comfort for the longest time. I find myself crying into your arm as you cradle me and shush my fears away. But then sometimes, I dream that you are after me; that you're trying to kill me. I can feel the fear rise in my throat as you chase me down.
Sometimes I remember these dreams when I wake. They are so vivid and real that I can almost feel your breath on my face. I can feel your body against mine when you hold me, when you cradle me, when you capture me. It's so familiar-your body-and the emotions that come with it. You may have been my only comfort for a time...but that was only because you wouldn't allow me any other source of comfort.
As I go through out my day I feel the emotional presence of you with me. Sometimes it is frightening and other times it's comforting...but it always is disturbing.
Sometimes I don't remember the dream, but I know that you came to visit. I've come a long way from the wreck that you left me in, but you still leave an emotional imprint when you visit my dreams. When will I finally be free of you? You may think that you let me go...but why are you still there if you have?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Just a thought...Something I've heard repeatedly in the gospel is that you can't just make a goal to get rid of something negative in your life. It doesn't work. You have to replace it with something else, something positive. We aren't meant to be alone.
ReplyDeleteBut something else my mother told me: even when you're in love and married and aren't alone, you still can't depend for EVERYTHING on that one person, because they cannot meet 100% of your needs. Even when you have someone, you still need your friends and family. And even when there's not someone holding that position up, your friends and family are still there.
I'm really sorry, I don't mean to sound preachy or anything. I just want to say I love you. Hope and joy are eternal principles.
I love you!